I’m married for the next 44 minutes

In an earlier post, I made the comparison between watching a television series and marriage. Well, last night I watched the penultimate episode of the TV show in question, the 21st out of the planned season of 22. I have stayed with this show faithfully since the beginning, waited patiently for three months whilst it took a mid-season break (perhaps it ran off to find itself…. Who knows, don’t ask, don’t tell), accepted the shortcomings and despite everything, looked forward to sitting down and watching it. I was even prepared to endure the commercials for the latest miracle pills that cure dry mouth better than drinking a glass of water. Oh, I watched it as it was broadcast too – not recorded on my DVR, but live, cuddled up on the sofa with my partner, who, like me, has made the same investment in this show. Sort of Event television in my house.

Talking of partners, some of my readers (well, two) have pointed out that my original posting could be seen as a code for my own marriage and my own thought process, that I was using my post as a mirror to my sub-conscious. This is interesting, as both male and female friends the other side of the Atlantic have read the same post and saw it for what it was – just a comment on how you make the time and effort to watch a story unfold and then drift away from it as the story changes. This is not just me: during the first eight episodes, this show was losing 18% of its audience a week! The latest episodes have had 3.9m viewers: a far cry from the over 11m who watched the premiere.

So, please. Let me take this opportunity to point out that I am happily married. I have no intention of having an affair, do not have a divorce lawyer and I would not just stick it out for the kids. (Gosh, no. I could sell them to some sports-wear company and they can make tennis shoes, at least there would be some return on the investment). I meant my marriage vows, ‘as long as you both shall live’. But that reminds me, I must work out why there are roller-skates on the top of stairs every day, why my brake-hoses keep coming loose, the unlit gas stove is always left on and my coffee smells of almonds some mornings. JOKING,PEOPLE.

But I digress. During last night’s episode our heroes met up with the President’s now sacked Director of Intelligence and searched a hastily abandoned laundry for clues to where the bad guys were – even though a member of the group is not only a defector from the bad-guys, he has also driven to their compound and just escaped from it and to top it off, is only their leader’s son! I accepted that the President could recover from multiple strokes in an hour, that the same (still uncharged) laptop our hero has been carrying for ever can miraculously get yet another hi-speed internet connection, jump onto the CIA or NSA computers and be able to access hi-resolution photographs of every city in the USA, real-time updated and good enough to track a vehicle that had left a building 15 minutes earlier. Our super computer-nerd hero is now also able to sweep a building and use a gun like a SWAT officer yet although he can hack into nearly every government and airline computer; he still needs someone to torture a good-looking doctor to get the password to her laptop. Not to mention that everyone now drives top of the line Ford SUVs and only use Apple computers. Yep. Some Event television. But I am still hooked. The season finale is next week and I will be avidly watching.

But, thankfully, the show’s parents have stepped in. They have, like all good parents, seen the rot and cancelled the series. For our own good, they have pointed out that everything comes to an end and you cannot go on deluding yourself. No need for a divorce and you can stop throwing things at the TV or storming off in a huff. Yes, they have their own motives (money), but its all for the good. So I will remain wedded to the show for another 44 minutes and then set off free – hand in hand with my partner (did I mention that I am still happily married) – free to seek out the nefarious delights of Torchwood or Trueblood where we both can just suspend belief from the premiere and enjoy the ride.

But I am not done yet. Some of you may have worked out which television show I have been ranting about, and who the parents are, but if you haven’t, I’ll tell you. It’s NBC. And in the same way as some married couples dislike their in-laws, I now resent NBC. Not for cancelling some Event television, but for NOT interfering in one of their siblings children’s affairs and allowing SyFy to end Stargate Universe. A show that was well written, had fantastic scripts and really good acting. A show who’s characters had been well-rounded and developed, which despite being set on board a ship in some galaxy far away, never once dropped into the same old tired formats or clichés, either visually or in the plot lines. I just watched the last five minutes of the final episode again and I can honestly say that it almost brought a tear to my eye. The time we spent together was good, we never fought and never once did I feel like throwing a cup at the television.

So, NBC. I am grateful for your decisions to interfere and while you are at it, can you take the executive producer to one side and explain that Sean Walker is not Jack Bauer and not everything has to resemble a poor man’s version of 24. And while you are at it, nip next door and explain to Syfy that they have made such a mistake in ending SGU. But, let me tell you, as much as we (my partner and I ) cannot wait to end our relationship ( and I swear I am only talking about the relationship with the tv show), we will watch the final episode intently, if only to try and work out what the hell it was all about. Perhaps over time we will be able to look back on the show with fondness, remember happy times and I hope that the show can go and find a new life, successful in some daytime slot on Bravo, Dave or some other cable channel, or travel the world and settle down on RAI or VTV in the Maldives. But not with us. Its over. You are free……… and so are we.

Oh. Last thing. Before anyone reads anything into my statement about partner’s parents, I will point out that I really do have a soft spot for my mother-in-law. It’s a peat-bog in Ireland.


About cryptothinker

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