Think of the teacher…

Imagine your reaction if you discovered that a teacher in your child’s elementary school belonged to a group that believed it was ok to go to other lands and use the people there as slaves whipping stripes into their backs,  that it was ok to beat their children’s heads against rocks, that in hard times you can eat your own babies, that you can indulge in genocide and use biological weapons, that you can take the farm of someone else because their grass is greener, that civil insurrection and protest in a religious building was ok, that it is permissible to push a metal rod through the ear of someone who works for you and if someone was nasty to you, go out and kill them, their children and the rest of their decendents in horrific ways, usually using fire.    And not only did your child’s teacher encourage this, but openly associated with like minded people and a couple of times a week went to meetings where not only was this message reinforced, but they would also they would drink the blood and eat the flesh of another person, they believed in a ghost and that you can raise dead people.  They admire someone who allowed their child to be nailed to a tree for telling people to be nice to one and other and to top this off,  they were teaching your child to believe the exact same thing.

Before you say anything, let me tell you what your reaction would be:  Even if this teacher didn’t personally teach your child or even tell them about it, you would still be writing to the Daily Mail or FOX News, calling Child Protection Services, changing schools and demanding that this person is sacked from their teaching job whilst both you and little Joey has state-funded counselling to deal with the trauma.   A few of you would be in the middle of phoning a lawyer and trying to see if Oprah or Trisha would pay you to go on their show to tell ‘how I survived this sick perverted teacher’ when someone with a bit of common sense said to you “Hey, don’t be so stupid, your teacher is just human and is doing normal things. Like being a Christian and going to church for one.”  (Re-read my first paragraph – All of what I wrote is in the Bible and I thank my friend for the BDSM group)

I read in a newspaper today that a group of female teachers went out to a bachelorette party (hen-night for my UK friends), imbibed of a little alcohol and some photos of the night appeared on Facebook.  Now some really kind person saw said photographs and probably because she wasn’t invited to the party, saw fit to print them and post them through the doors of her neighbors.  Shock horror.  Little Joey’s teachers are human too and do the same things as the rest of us.  Wow. I never knew that.  This same person is also quoted as saying “‘If you are as appalled as I am by these images which these tramps post freely for the world to see, how safe are our children?”  Well, let’s see.  Unlike parents, these teachers must have University Degrees, attend teacher training school on top and have specific qualifications in child care as well as courses in how to safeguard children.  A criminal records and background check is also mandatory, as is an interview with the school’s governors.  So you tell me how safe they can be, especially as anyone can have children; even those who think that nailing your kids to trees is a good idea or allow their sons to become alter boys.  After all, a priest is more virtuous than a teacher…..

Now I don’t Facebook.  But I will quote Facebook’s own statistics here:  There are more than 500 million active users and each average user has 130 friends, half of users log on every day and over 700 billion minutes are spent on Facebook each month.  500 million is rough 1 in 12 of the world’s population.  But let us just concentrate on the United Kingdom where this outraged and shocked parent lives.  The UK has over 18.5m users over the age of 19 out of a population of 62m, roughly 29% or one out of every three.  The UK also has over 441,200 full time teachers, so if the same ratios apply, you can extrapolate that there could be up to 127,000 teachers on Facebook.  Whilst I cannot say that none of them drink, smoke or go to parties to celebrate that one of their friends is getting married, I definitely know that they wouldn’t allow their kid to be nailed to a plank of wood.

Two of my best friends are teachers whilst a third managed to escape.  And I can honestly say they are as human as the rest of us and I even have photographs of one sleeping on their sofa after drinking too much wine. I have listened to them moan and complain and know of some of the outrageous things they have done.  And whilst I have heard them threaten to disown their children, I have also seen them support their kids through University and into successful careers. To be truthful,  I cannot think of any better people and after listening to some of the stories about little Joey’s and sweet little Gabriell’s antics in class, I thank my lucky stars that I am not teaching Mrs Carter’s offspring and buy the drinks.  When my own children used to complain that their teacher was mean today, I used to point out that perhaps before they came to school they a spat with their partner, the car had broken down and the dog had just deposited something warm and steaming on the carpet after chewing through the really high credit card bill that had just arrived.  Then they have to put up with thirty kids who would rather be playing on the Xbox, behind the sheds or concentrating on what Heather and Jason Dean were actually doing in the cellar.  Teachers have earned the right to relax, big time.  

But back to our complainant.  So she objects that some teachers actually have a life and go to the parties to which she isn’t invited and that there are a few pictures of them enjoying themselves, just in case a few of the kids log in to Facebook and see them.  Well, my partner has warned me that on the interwebs there are many places where ladies of professional virtue like to display their bodies and that these sites would upset our computer’s aunty violet system.  So given that these are elementary class teachers, children in their school should never see them, especially if they have responsible parents who actual monitor their kids use of the interwebs.  Oh, you have to be at least 13 to use Facebook by the way.

So let’s conclude.  A few teachers had a drink at a party and showed their friends the pictures.  So what?  Ask Monica what Bill did in the Oval office or Jackie exactly what Marilyn et al were actually doing in the White House.  Heck, presidents can have affairs, but teachers cannot celebrate a forthcoming marriage.  Our complainant should perhaps get a life and then she may actually be invited to the party.  But I am sure that this self-righteous person has done the mothers of children in that school a huge favour:  I have seen the photos in the UK’s Daily Mail and I am willing to bet that the majority of fathers will be insisting on taking little Joey and little Cassandra to school from now on.  Perhaps this is what our friend is really scared of:  not that the children will see the photos, but husbands will.


About cryptothinker

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